The Funniest Soccer Quotes

The Funniest Soccer Quotes

The Funniest Soccer Quotes and some of the “mind blowing” quotes ever made by several coaches, managers, and commentators of football along with soccer players. I hope you’ll enjoy them.

“We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought.”
— Bobby Robson

“Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.”
— Ron Atkinson

“He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it -you can see it all over their faces.”
— Ron Atkinson

“Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.”
— Metro Radio,Football

“Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball.” — Ian St John

“Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds – totally against the run of play.”
— Peter Lorenzo

“We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized.”
— Ian McNail

“I don’t like to see players tossed off needlessly”
— Andy Gray

“When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1”
— Lawrie McMenemy,Manager of Southampton Football Club

“The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath”
— Terry Butcher

“If you stand still there is only one way to go, and that’s backwards”
— Peter Shilton

“And Farmer has now scored 19 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season” Garry Lyon, Australian Football Commentator

“Statistics are like Bikinis: They give you good ideas but hide the important things”
Steve Khompela, Maritzburg United Coach

“When Manchester United are at their best I am close to orgasm” — Gianluca Vialli

“Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win”
— Vinny Jones

“Despite the rain, it’s still raining here at Old Trafford” Jimmy Hill

“Is the Pope Catholic. No I’m serious, is he? I really need to know” – when asked if he might be moving to AS Roma — David Beckham

“The ref was vertically 15 yards away.” –Kevin Keegan

“Diego Maradona – a flawed genius who has now become a genius who is flawed”
— Bob Wilson

“The underdogs will start favourites for this match” — Anthony Hudson, Australian Football Commentator

“They’ve picked their heads up off the ground and they now have a
lot to carry on their shoulders.” — Ron Atkinson

“Chile have three options – they
could win or they could lose.” — Kevin Keegan

“If you were in the Brondby dressing room right now, which of the Liverpool players
would you be looking at?” Ray Stubbs

“I came to Nantes two years ago and it’s much the
same today, except that it’s completely different.” –Kevin Keegan

“Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to
hang in the air even longer.” — David Acfield

“England has the best fans in the world and Scotland’s fans are second-to-none.” — Kevin Keegan

“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”
— Terry Venables

“Moreano thought that the full back was gonna come up behind and give him one really hard.”
–Ron Atkinson

“You guys line up alphabetically by height.” –Bill Peterson

“Zero – zero is a big score!” — Ron Atkinson

“That’s great, tell him he’s Pele and get him back on.” — JOHN LAMBIE responds when told a concussed striker did not know who he was after getting hit.

“Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins.” — Brian Moore

“This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players” — Javier Clemente

“I would not say he is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.”
— Ron Atkinson

“The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23!” — Kevin Keegan

“I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted!” — George Best.